Community Set - Monty Python

Thu, 2013-08-29 15:16
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

In the forum game Magic Telephone - Reboot, I made the following card:

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch 5 mana symbol
Legendary Artifact - Grenade M Mana for MTG Extra
White/black mana symbolWhite/black mana symbolWhite/black mana symbol, Tap symbol: Put a number counter on Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. You may gain 1 life. Then, if there are three number counters on Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, thou shall count for three counters. No more, no less. Three shall be the number of counters thou shall count, and the number of counting shall be three. Four, thou shall not count, nor shall thou count two, excepting that thou then count to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number been reached, is the number of number counters on Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, remove all number counters from Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and sacrifice it. Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch deals 19 and 1/2 damage to target creature or player.

And well, now I think we should make an unhinged-type set about Mont Python. I think it would be hilarious, and I have some ideas for other cards. Well, lets make a set!

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Thu, 2013-08-29 15:43
Lordpat
Lordpat's picture

The Funniest Joke in the World 3 mana symbolBlack mana symbolBlue mana symbol
Enchantment - Aura Red mana symbol
At the beginning of your upkeep, enchanted creature's controller sacrifice it. Then attatch ~ to another creature. If you can't, you lose the game.

"[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are."
~Jim Henson

Thu, 2013-08-29 16:51
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Very good, but maybe involve laughter somehow?

The Spanish Inquisition 1 mana symbolRed mana symbolRed mana symbol
Enchantment Red mana symbol
Flash
If ~ is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Red mana symbol, say "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!", Tap symbol: Put three red 2/1 Spaniard tokens with haste onto the battlefield. Sacrifice them at end of turn.

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Fri, 2013-08-30 03:55
Eris Omnisciens
Eris Omnisciens's picture

Hungarian Phrasebook 3 mana symbol
Artifact Blue mana symbol
As long as you speak with unusual euphemisms, creatures you control have Provoke (When this attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)
Gotcha! -- Whenever an opponent uses a phrase you do not understand, you may return ~ from the graveyard to the battlefield.
mea navis evolans est plenus rerum anguillarum

nolite rem conficere

Sat, 2013-08-31 14:59
Decembra
Decembra's picture

Knights Who Say Ni 1 mana symbolBlack mana symbol
Creature - Human Knight Blue mana symbol
Protection from voices
Whenever Knights Who Say Ni would deal combat damage to a creature or player, say "ni" in a fairly loud and annoying tone once for each point of damage that would be dealt instead. Your voice deals that much damage to that creature or player.
2/1

A Shrubbery 1 mana symbol
Artifact - Equipment Colorless mana symbol
Equip 1 mana symbol
Equipped creature has protection from voices.
It looks nice, and isn't too expensive.

Sat, 2013-08-31 16:20
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

This is nice. Turning out great.

Mr. Creosote 1 mana symbolBlack mana symbolGreen mana symbol
Legendary Creature - Human Horror Red mana symbol
Eat some food: Put a +1/+1 counter on Mr. Creosote. Any player may activate this ability.
If Mr. Creosote's power is 6 or greater, sacrifice it.
1/1

Killer Rabbit 2 mana symbolBlack mana symbolBlack mana symbol
Legendary Creature - Rabbit Horror M Mana for MTG Extra
Protection from everything except The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
Haste
3/1

Castle of Aauugh
Legendary Land Red mana symbol
Tap symbol: Add 1 mana symbol to your mana pool.
Insult your opponent, Tap symbol: Put two 1/1 blue French Soldier tokens onto the battlefield.

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Sat, 2013-08-31 18:36
Eris Omnisciens
Eris Omnisciens's picture

The Black Knight Black mana symbol Black mana symbol
Legendary Creature- Human Knight Red mana symbol
~ enters the battlefield with four limb counters on it.
If ~ has no limb counters on it, it has indestructable and defender.
Remove a limb counter from ~: Regenerate it.
2/2
"The Black Knight ALWAYS triumphs!"

nolite rem conficere

Sat, 2013-08-31 18:51
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

This is great so far.

Spam White mana symbol
Enchantment Blue mana symbol
Say "spam", White mana symbol: You gain 1 life.
"Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam wonderful spam!"

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Sun, 2013-09-01 01:05
CrimsonReaper

Wink-Wink Blue mana symbol
Instant Blue mana symbol
Name a card then say "wink-wink-nudge-nudge-know-what-I-mean-say-n'more". Each player reveals the named card from his or her hand.
Draw a card.
Flying Circus 0 mana symbol (You may cast this spell for its flying circus cost if you made another player laugh this turn.)
"Look! Are you trying to insinuate something?"

Friendly Fish 1 mana symbolBlue mana symbol
Creature - Fish Blue mana symbol
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Morning!" If you do, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of Friendly Fish.
If you control no islands, sacrifice Friendly Fish.
"Frank was just asking, what's new?"
1/1

Sun, 2013-09-01 01:28
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Neat keyword.

Dirty Fork 4 mana symbol
Artifact Blue mana symbol
Grab a fork, Tap symbol: Target player loses 1 life. If you are in a restaurant, that player loses 10 life instead.
Flying Circus 1 mana symbol (You may cast Dirty Fork for its Flying Circus cost if you made an opponent laugh this turn.)
"You bastards!"

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Sun, 2013-09-01 01:29
CrimsonReaper

Isn't it Awfully Nice to Have...? 1 mana symbolWhite mana symbol
Instant Colorless mana symbol
You gain 3 life for each Male person in the room.
"But never show it out in public, or they will stick you in the dock; and you wont come back."

Quite a Bite Black mana symbol
Enchantment - Aura Colorless mana symbol
Enchant creature
At the beginning of enchanted creatures controller's turn, enchanted creature's controller may say "So it'll just grow back then?". If he or she does, ignore Quite a Bite until that player's next turn.
Enchanted creature gets -2/-2.
"Well this is nothing to worry about. Yes, there’s a lot of it about, probably a virus."

Sun, 2013-09-01 02:03
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Flying Lessons 1 mana symbolBlue mana symbol
Enchantment Colorless mana symbol
Stand on the table, arms spread out, fingers together, flap your arms fast and then jump, Blue mana symbol: Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
"Oh, a gap! Oh, waiter, I'm off to play the grand piano!"

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Sun, 2013-09-01 02:34
CrimsonReaper

Protestants 2 mana symbolBlue mana symbolBlue mana symbol
Creature - Human Cleric Red mana symbol
Whenever an opponent casts a creature spell, you may give a detailed exegesis on male contraceptive methods. If you do, counter that spell. (Your exegesis must cover the topics of history, function, and variety.)
"Look at those bloody Catholics; filling up the bloody world with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed."
2/2

Knights of the Round Table 1 mana symbolWhite mana symbol
Creature - Human Knight Blue mana symbol
Knights of the Round Table's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Knights you control.
Musical number - At the beginning of your upkeep, you may perform a rendition of Monty Python's Knights of the Round Table. If you do, put a 2/2 white Human Knight creature token onto the battlefield.
"No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place."
*/*

I'm having way too much fun here...

Sun, 2013-09-01 02:47
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Yeah, I did intend this to be a fun set to make.

Brian 1 mana symbolWhite mana symbolWhite mana symbol
Legendary Creature - Human M Mana for MTG Extra
Every turn, during your upkeep, you may say "He's the messiah!" If you do, put a prophet counter on Brian. Then put a 1/1 white human creature token onto the battlefield for each prophet counter on Brian.
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
1/1

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Sun, 2013-09-01 02:37
CrimsonReaper

I'm thinking, for some mechanics;

Flying Circus [cost] (You may cast this for its flying circus cost if you made an opponent laugh this turn.)

- This could be changed up or re-tweaked; I think the important part of the ability is "made and opponent laugh this turn".
- Perhaps it could be a pseudo ability?

Fish matter

- Fish should become a prevailing creature type and players should have bonuses for controlling fish and casting fish spells
- "I wonder where that fish has gone?"
- Friendly Fish (see above)
- Fish slapping

[i]Musical Number - You may perform a rendition of [song]. If you do, [effect].

- Kinda speaks for itself

More things to come! (Maybe?)

Sun, 2013-09-01 03:22
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

I think those are pretty cool ideas.

Parrot 1 mana symbolGreen mana symbol
Creature - Bird Red mana symbol
Flying
When Parrot dies, you may argue with a pet store clerk. If you do, search your library for a card called Parrot and put it into your hand.
1/1

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Sun, 2013-09-01 05:23
Eris Omnisciens
Eris Omnisciens's picture

Romanes eunt domus 2 mana symbol Red mana symbol
Enchantment Blue mana symbol
Correct an aspect of this card's name: Put ten phrase counters on ~.
Remove 100 phrase counters from Romanes eunt domus: Put 5 3/3 red Roman Soldier creature tokens with Haste, First Strike, and Vigilance onto the battlefield.
Reminders: Romanus, romani m.
eo ire ivi itum
domus, domi m.
Imperatives take the infinitive.
Locations take the locative, which takes the form of the accusative.
Nominative plural for second declension is -i. Take the genitive for the root.
eo is irregular.
2nd Declension Non-neuter:
Singular, Plural
Nominative: us, i
Genitive: i, orum
Dative: o, is (MANDATORY MACRON I)
Accusative: um, os
Ablative: o, is (MANDATORY MACRON I)
Present indicative-mood third-person plural:
-nt
(The present tense comes from the first principal part, taking away the -o, and then being changed dependent on the verb's declension as decided by the infinitive part, most notably for the difference between second and fourth. However, eo is irregular, so thus, eunt.)
Imperative plural:
-te
(Take the infinitive root, and drop the -re. However, it is plural, so -te is added. Depending on the declension of the verb, whether hard or soft e, changes if the preceding letter is kept as an E or changed to an I, respectively.)

nolite rem conficere

Mon, 2013-09-16 21:56
digiman619
digiman619's picture

This is, perhaps, one of the greatest ideas of all time. Here's my addition:

Castle Anthrax
Legendary Land M Mana for MTG Extra
Tap symbol: Add 1 mana symbol to your mana pool.
4 mana symbol, Tap symbol: Choose a creature an opponent controls. Its controller may exile it. If he or she doesn't, you draw a card and that creature was probably gay.

Mon, 2013-09-02 13:46
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Yeah, thanks for the support. I really think that this could be a hilarious set.

Argument Clinic 4 mana symbol
Artifact Red mana symbol
3 mana symbolBlue mana symbolBlue mana symbol, contradict your opponent, Tap symbol: Counter target spell.
"But an argument isn't just saying 'No it isn't.'"
"Yes it is."
"No it isn't!"

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Fri, 2013-09-13 17:32
freak4goofy
freak4goofy's picture

Since I'm a huge Monty Python fan, I saw your post and I got a flood of ideas...

Hand of God 2 mana symbol
Instant- Trap Blue mana symbol
If an opponent controls a Soldier, you may cast Hand of God without paying its mana cost.
Destroy target attacking or blocking creature. It can't be regenerated.
"Don't stand there gawping! Like you've never seen the Hand of God before!"

The Middle of the Film White mana symbolWhite mana symbolWhite mana symbolBlack mana symbolBlack mana symbolBlack mana symbol
Sorcery Red mana symbol
Choose one- Other than the player with the highest number of permanents, each other player reveals cards from the top of his or her library and puts all permanents onto the battlefield until each player controls an equal number of permanents as the player with the highest number of permanents, then puts all cards revealed this way on the bottom of his or her library in any order; or other than the player with the lowest number of permanents, each other player sacrifices permanents until they control an equal number of permanents as the player with the lowest number of permanents.

Castle Anthrax
Legendary Land Red mana symbol
Tap symbol: Add 1 mana symbol to your mana pool. Then if you control an artifact named Grail Beacon, then add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

Grail Beacon 3 mana symbol
Artifact Blue mana symbol
Tap symbol: Add 1 mana symbol to your mana pool.
Fake- Whenever another permanent enters the battlefield under your control that shares a word in its name with this permanent, sacrifice this permanent.

Ex Parrot 2 mana symbolGreen mana symbol
Instant Blue mana symbol
Destroy target creature with flying. Then drop that card onto the table from a height of 1 foot. If it touches another creature on the battlefield, destroy that creature.

Don't use the cards. Abuse the cards.

Fri, 2013-09-13 17:50
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Just going to say that Castle Anthrax and the parrot already have cards and I can't quite understand what The Middle of the Film even does.

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Fri, 2013-09-13 20:48
jceddy
jceddy's picture

Airborne Cow
White mana symbolWhite mana symbol
Creature - Cow Uncommon
Flying
Sacrifice Airborne Cow, shout "Fetchez la vache!": Destroy two target soldier creature tokens.
2/2

Tue, 2013-09-17 15:22
freak4goofy
freak4goofy's picture

The Middle of the Film works this way: You have two options: each player reveals cards from the top of their libraries and places permanents on the battlefield until everyone has the same number of permanents as the player with the highest number of total permanents controlled. Or the reverse side, each player sacrifices permanents until they share the same number of permanents as the player who controls the least number of total permanents.

Don't use the cards. Abuse the cards.

Wed, 2013-09-18 01:22
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Well, I guess. Anyway...

Fresh Fruit Green mana symbol
Enchantment - Aura Blue mana symbol
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature doesn't die unless dealt damage by Gun, Sixteen-Ton Weight, or Tiger.
"Now I eat the banana, rendering him helpless!"

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Tue, 2013-10-01 18:10
UncleVanya

While I realize you have a Castle Anthrax - I don't think that either version really captures the spirit of the place. Here's my attempt:

Castle Anthrax
Legendary Land
Tap: Add (W) to your mana pool.
When Castle Anthrax enters the battlefield target creature is exiled.
Creature exiled can be returned to the battlefield by tapping creatures with total power greater than 2 times the exiled creature's toughness while the controller of those creatures points to the exiled card and states "You're in great peril (Card Name)!". The card is then returned to the battlefield under that player's control.

Note: If more than one player attempts to rescue the creature at the same time, the player with the highest total power of creatures tapped in this attempt wins control of the returned creature. The original creature's controller can prevent this rescue by repeating the phrase "Now look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!" until the rescue is aborted when the creatures untap.

PS - Sorry I don't know how to put the symbols in yet.

Tue, 2013-10-01 18:57
UncleVanya

A Lifetime Supply of Ice Cream
Type: Instant
Cost: UUWW
Target creature is put onto the bottom of the owner's library. If creatures is Mr. Neutron put him on top of your library instead.

"I can eat vast quantities of ice cream..."

Tue, 2013-10-01 22:12
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Click on the bar "input format" below the text box, then click "BBcodes" and there is a list of how to put in symbols.

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Tue, 2013-10-01 23:25
Anuttymous
Anuttymous's picture

Could also try reading the forum rules and guidelines. It is there, if you read it.

Anuttymous the Gathering
Anonymous + nutty = A-nutty-mous (no mice involved)
Ask me if you need any help

Sat, 2013-10-05 18:32
Vans

Swamp Castle
Land
Tap symbol Destroy Swamp Castle, add Black mana symbol to your mana pool, search your library for a card called Swamp Castle and put it onto the battlefield tapped.
If there are exactly two cards called Swamp Castle in your graveyard when this ability resolves add an additional Red mana symbol to your mana pool
If there are exactly three cards called Swamp Castle in your graveyard. Swamp Castle is indestructible.

Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!

Sat, 2013-10-05 18:41
CyrusLevy
CyrusLevy's picture

Live Organ Transplant X mana symbolBlack mana symbol
Sorcery Blue mana symbol
Put X -1/-1 counters on target creature and X +1/+1 counters on another target creature. You lose X life.
Musical Number - You may then perform a rendition of the Galaxy Song. If you do, you gain X life.
"But pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space 'cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!"

Camel Spotter Blue mana symbol
Creature - Human Colorless mana symbol
Whenever a Camel enters the battlefield, you may draw seven cards.
"How many camels have you seen?"
"Almost one."

1/1

Rakdos Shred-Freak plays Minecraft!

Spoiler:

Fri, 2013-10-11 21:32
digiman619
digiman619's picture

And Now For Something Completely Different 3 mana symbolBlue mana symbol
Instant Red mana symbol
Counter target spell. Its controller reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a nonland card. That player casts that spell without paying its mana cost.
Its...