Rutania -- A Steampunk Set (In need of feedback)
Login or register to post comments| Fri, 2011-07-08 11:32 | |
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CrimsonReaper
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Hi Everyone! I'm only a new memeber to the MSE forums but I've been surfing it for quite a while now, ever since I got MSE, mostly because I love the ideas that some people here have. So this is my first "set". I don't have a name for it yet, and its story is sketchy at the moment, but the short of it is this: A Steampunk Empire, known as Rutania, on the brink of revolution. The Empire was first brought into civility by the Pendragons, who know act as the Royal family and regents. So here is some info on the set (I am hoping to post a card breakdown sometime in the near future). Criticism and feedback would be really helpful as this is the first time I've tried something like this and I'm looking to improve Edit -- See Disposable Heros comment. Thanks for comment btw DH Card Breakdown (Sill a WIP) Spoiler:
Monocolors: Mechanics/Keywords Spoiler:
Color Alignments Spoiler:
Other things to note (May be updated more) Spoiler:
1. The melding of magic and metal has had a strange affect on mana on this plane. Mana can now be physically interacted with, as it now, in concentrated pockets, appears as "Steam". For instance, white steam, which dances around the castles and markets of Elabrium, is like clouds. However, the black Steam which billows forth from the workhouses is like a thick smog. Cards (So Far) Spoiler:
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(Such a model student, I know)





, 3
, 7
, 14 
(
or by tapping an untapped, unequipped artifact you control.)
: Pendragon Long Gunners deals 2 damage to target attacking creature. Activate this ability only if Pendragon Long Gunners is equipped.

. If you do, search your library for an Equipment card with converted mana cost X or less, and put that card onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.

This set seems really cool. I think the remindeer text for artifact mana could be worded as this though:
can be paid with
or by tapping an untapped, unequipped artifact you control.)
(
This saves a bit of space and is more gramatically correct than your current wording (you have a comma where you should have a period and you shoulkd start a new sentence at that point).
You can call me DH.
These are the rules. Read them.
Thanks for the comment DH. Did you get a chance to look at any of the cards themselves? One hting I still very unsure about is mana/casting costs. Do they seem okay?
Augmented)
You don't need a keyword for an effect that happens to a creature when a card is equipped. It's like having a keyword that goes only on Auras that takes effect on the creature it's enchanting only while it's enchanting something.
Clockwork) This isn't common, but clockwork is frequent enough to need a word.
Metallurgy)
Design skeletons!
Pokémon Magic skeletons!
May want to recost or lower the P/T of Pendragon Long Gunners, it's currently
for a 2/2 with effect
Current sets:
Gateways (On hiatus)
Thanks for the comments guys!
@Jeske
BTW Jeske... what is <foo>?
@Kaz -- Cool, I'll change it. The reason its 2/2 is because I found a picture that I just fell in love with (It was really the inspiration for the card.) But I wont go into that. Does
sound good? Or should it be more expensive?
CrimsonReaper) It does, as Prowl has a stipulation attached to it. Metallurgy does not (sacrificing the artifact is seen as a part of the alternate cost and not a trigger condition), so it needs to be made explicitly clear how it works in the brevity of reminder text.
In general, the clockwork ability has been limited to artifact creatures, not living ones. (Clockwork is extremely intricate and fragile.)
<foo> is a variable, as are (the less-frequently used by me) <bar> and <baz>. They are derived from programming lingo, where they are used to represent metasyntactic variables.
Design skeletons!
Pokémon Magic skeletons!
@Jeske
In that case! Consider it my second edit!
CLcokwork for me also represents the tools of wizards and artificers on the plane. I can see wha you mean by limiting it to artifact creatures though, and of course, it will appear on them.
...
metasyntactic say what!? Okay... I'm not really a programmer...
@Jeske: I think you're forgetting that AUgmented only appears on creatures so far. It's a second upgrade, like Kemba's Legion.
You can call me DH.
These are the rules. Read them.
I think I want to keep augmented as it is. Even if there are some slight problems, it just seems to fit nicely, for me personally that is. Also because its so frequent, I just like the idea of giving it a keyword.
And yes, so far as I have drafted, it only appears on creatures.
But thanks for the feedback guys! I do really appreciate it. Keep it coming!
DH) Ah. I thought it was on Equipment, not creatures.
Design skeletons!
Pokémon Magic skeletons!
@CrimsonReaper - I liked your idea. I was actually fiddling around with some steampunk designs of my own. Since you are already working on a set with this design, I figured these may be more useful for you than myself. Just fiddled around with some design ideas for you. Hope you enjoy and feel free to take any of them for your set.
Tin-Kin Construct & Steamwork Dragon
Steamwork Designer & Noble Hunting Wagon
Mist Piper & Mimicing Automaton
Mechanical Feline & Junk Rumager
Iron-Shock Blade & Iron Titan
Industrial Complex & Industrial Armor
Factory & Elisa The Desconstructor
Copper Vine Bottler & Construct Rebuilder
Clockwork Sabotage & Clockwork Diviner
Airship & Aerial Merfolk
Since I was not designing these based on your set, they have none of your keywords on them. I think if you throw some of them in, it would make these cards work nicely.
Lost Realms
http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/node/5704
A custom Magic:The Gathering Set
@Riptide
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!?
I like some of those cards!! I may "build" on some of them if you dont mind
In fact, a few of those pictures you have used where some initial inspiration
Sorry for no posting recently, I have been sick for quite a while.
Artist credit is required for ALL renders, Riptide. You need it for Airship, Copper Vine Bottler, Industrial Complex, Industrial Armor, Junk Rummager (two “m”s), and Mimicking Automaton (you forgot a “k”). If you violate the rules one more time, you will be suspended.
You can call me DH.
These are the rules. Read them.
@CrimsonReaper
Of course you can take those cards and build on them, thats why I threw them on here. I used a template that allowed for additional colors to get the background, I cant remember the name of the template though (I think it was called Magic Extended or something). They need a little work to balance them, but it should be a fun set to build, if you want any help, let me know. Also, if you search steam punk art, you'll find a ton on the internet.
@Disposable Hero
Sorry about that. I gave up on this set; therefore, I didn't bother getting the artist's name for these ones. It slipped my mind to add them before I uploaded the images. It wont happen again.
Lost Realms
http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/node/5704
A custom Magic:The Gathering Set
Hey CrimsonReaper. I like your set idea and would like to help you w/ it. One thing I saw that you had
as the first symbol in ability cost, it should be {mana},
or
, {other costs}. Also a card suggestion...
Tinker-Bot


2/3

,
: Put a +1/+1 counter on another target artifact creature, gains your choose of flying, trample, first strike, deathtouch, or vigilance for aslong as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.
Artifact Creature -- Tin-kin Artificer
Vriok, A custom set by Reality Glitch and Anuttymous
Are there really no rules against necrobumping here? Cool.
Oh, there are necroing rules alright. My first post ever was a necro.
A watched cat never devours a bat's ear.
Lorwyn/Shadowmoor United Community Set: http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/node/6016
You are the planeswalker!: http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/node/6157
Then I'm pretty sure this is slightly over the time limit for posting.
How do i download that Cog symbol, its perfect for my steampunk theme.
http://mtg.pifro.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=401&start=0, magic-mana-small-and-large-extra.installer. Double-click on the installer to install.
I really was psyched for this set, sad to see its most likely dead.
I think it is from the Modern Extra template. You can download a ton of templates from the site here at http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/additional-templates
They allow you to do a lot of neat stuff. I have a dozen cards or so made for a steam punk set I was working on. In the next few days I'll dump what I have so far on the forums if you want any ideas to work with. Even got a little story written with color alignments.
Lost Realms
http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/node/5704
A custom Magic:The Gathering Set
I've been working on one too, might post what I have so far. It actually uses approximately the same artifact mana mechanic from this thread.
I think artifact mana should be worded like snow mana. (
may be payed with one mana from an artifact source.)
Vriok, A custom set by Reality Glitch and Anuttymous
Not if it's wanted to work differently.
I absolutely love the idea behind Clockwork! Have you consider adding mechanics such as allowing other creature to "wind up" creatures with Clockwork?
guys and then instead of goblins and orcs you can have GREMLINS! They can represent the more destructive side of red, the
bit and fit well with the steampunk theme.
! They can be like, crows and ravens who barely survive because of the smog from the factories.
I was also really happy to see dwarves, but really the white mana faction shouldn't just be a thinly disguised Auriok group. It's good you're willing to admit that, but how about this?
The plane is technology dependent so dwarves are the
The elves are filling a stereotypical role and a boring one. Make them eco-terrorists, rebelling against the decay of the plane's natural world by destroying artifacts and factories and even assassinating inventors. Or something.
Less birds, more FAERIES!!!! I love the idea of faeries flitting about fixing things. Make the birds
I don't have an opinion.
I think vampires, rats and vedalken are all amazing. Make the vedalken fat overseers!
And now that I've annoyed you with my requests and observances, just wanted to let you know I think this whole set is a great idea! Keep it up!
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OP, I was gonna ask if I could use Metallurgy and the Artifact mana rules for my own set. Is that alright?
"Take the bridge, men! Victory! Victory is ou - Retreat! RETREAT!"
Arrival of the Eldrazi Community Set
I'm not sure if they're still here...
Hey guys!! I an still here
But I think this may be one of the best examples of necroing if ever there was one.
About this set, i realy wanted to finish this but some big family troubles began a while ago and I essentially had to stop doing anything creative (including mse) for a while.
Anyway, I did want to try to complete it, but I dont think I have the willpower to do so.
So I was thinking, maybe I will hand it over to the make a set forum and see if I could turn it inot a community set. What do you guys think?
If not, then I'm totally okay with Icraek using it. In fact, I'd be flattered!!
But I would like to ask if the community is interested first. Maybe we could pool concepts Icrael!
Thanks for caring guys
Nah, Crimson. It's not necroing. The thread's still fresh.
And if you wish to turn it over to the site community, feel free to do so. But I'm not at present willing to lead a make-a-set project. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though.
I was mainly asking if I could borrow those two mechanics for a post-apocalyptic set I'm making. Thanks for giving me permission.
"Take the bridge, men! Victory! Victory is ou - Retreat! RETREAT!"
Arrival of the Eldrazi Community Set
...I might be willing to do so, if people would join.
I would be totally up for this. I enjoy making cards more than I enjoy making story, so this seems perfect for me.
A proud member of the Orichite Design Team.
Current Set: Echequer, Masters of the Realm
And I've got a story planned, but suck at making cards in bulk. Anyone else interested? Two more and then I'll make the thread.
I'd be interested but I have a lot on my plate. I'd check in at least 1 or 2 a day though.
Cinematt/Captain of Nephalia Collection [Set Hub]
Count me in, I can help w/ both story and cards.
Vriok, A custom set by Reality Glitch and Anuttymous
Alright, the thread will be up and my ideas posted by tomorrow.
I know I've been speaking to you about this through private messages, but I'm definately up for helping out with this one. You can see some of the cards I posted above here, I have a couple dozen more since I last posted. When you get the new forum post up, I'll put some of them up if you want. Keyword mechanics are still up in the air for what I was working on. The big change was that any artifact with a gear cost has an aged brass look to it (I used the Magic Extra Template and combined brown and orange). Here are the mechanics I had going for what I was working on if you want to use any:
Steam: * (Tap another artifact you control, this card gets * until end of turn)
Gearshift * (If this card is in your graveyard, you may pay * and sacrifice an artifact you control to place it on the battlefield)
And I know I posted it before in PM but for others working on the set, this is the rough storyline I came up with. I know me and Cain already discussed not using phyrexia, but I haven't had a chance yet to change it:
"Dark Steam
____________
Enter Ferrona, the plane of contructs. For centuries, the lines between technology and Magic have become blurred. Powered by a combination of Steam and Magic, machines liter cities and country sides. Factories churn out metal, The industrial age is in full swing, and constructs walk the streets. But a rebellion is brewing with Man vs Machine, and a dark force from across the Multiverse seeks to upset the balance.
Factions:
League of Light:
Primary Colors: Green and White
Primary Attributes: Artifact Destruction. Least amount of Artifact Creatures. Life gain. Destroy/tap artifacts to boost power.
Background: Originally started as a political and religious movement, the League of Light are gaining a major foothold on the general populace. Bent on the destuction of any sentient constucts, they feel that the machines are taking over and will soon destroy life.
Pros: Believe that there is a true underlying threat and are starting to undertand the Phyrexian influence on their plane.
Cons: Fanatical zealots that will destroy any artifacts or those that create them, just to prove their point.
Iron Brotherhood:
Primary Colors: Red and Blue
Primary Attributes: Artifact Friendly. Supports artifact creatures and equipment. Direct Damage. Allows for faster casting of artifacts.
Background: The Iron Brotherhood originated as a union of artificers and metal workers, but with the current turmoil have supported their creations. Looking upon the Tin-Kin almost as their own children, the Iron Brotherhood has defended their right to build them and their creation's right to prosper. When the League of Light gained the majority and convinced Parliment to pass the "Standard Constructs Act", making it illegal to create automatons, many of the Brotherhood went underground to continue work on building better, more life like, machines.
Pros: Support their creations and believe that they can
Cons: Blind to the fact that the Tin-Kin are becoming corrupted by Phyrexia.
Tin-Kin:
Primary Colors: Artifact
Primary Attributes: Artifact Creatures. Boost other artifacts. Tribal Instants.
Background: Within the past century, mankind realized that their steam powered constructions could be build into automatons capable of helping daily life. With magic imbued in these, the constructs eventually learned to repair themselves and became aware surroundings. Like their creators, they began constucting artifacts of their own. As constructs began creating their own simple constructs, the populace began jokingly calling these Tin-Kin, but thought of them as nothing more than walking talking toys. Eventually, this evolution began to worry the established order, as the Tin-kin became more and more advanced with each generation. Some religous groups began to form "Scrapper Parties", which would traverse the undercity and wipe out these creations out of fear, calling them abominations. This mob mentality spread into what is now known as the League of Light. It wasn't until the Phyrexians came to the plane that the Tin-kin began to fight back.
Phyrexia:
Primary colors: Black
Primary Attributes: Artifact Control. Power Hungry. Light Artifact Destuction and heavy creature destruction
Background: Phyrexia has been a threat to the multiverse since the beginning of time, and now is no different. A plane with such dependance on metal, machines, and constructs is the perfect breeding ground for their madness. They first came to the Tin-Kin under the guise of a helping hand to gain their sentience and freedom, but like all things Phyrexian, control and expansion is their final motive.
Pros: One minded goals.
Cons: Considered Evil by pretty much any creature in the multiverse."
Lost Realms
http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/node/5704
A custom Magic:The Gathering Set
Funny, I've got a keyword that's really similar to that.
But you know, your wording looks way better for Reconstruct. Gets the feeling of rebuilding something with a box of scraps better.
Do you mind if I take another cue from your set and use the wording for Gearshift as "Reconstruct"?
"Take the bridge, men! Victory! Victory is ou - Retreat! RETREAT!"
Arrival of the Eldrazi Community Set
Of course! Use whatever you would like.
Lost Realms
http://magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/node/5704
A custom Magic:The Gathering Set
Steam needs to say "tap target untapped artifact" since you can tap something that is already tapped.
Check out my updated set hub.
Moderator
K, thread is up in the Make-a-Set section. All discussion will be there now.