Akin'vahr [Story Spotlight 5/5 | Set File Released! (ver. 1.0)]

Login or register to post comments
Sat, 2017-01-28 07:20
Vunik
Vunik's picture

The End of the World has Come
...and Gone.

A World Compleated

Art By Mark Thompson
Set Name: Akin'vahr
Set Code: AKV
Designed by: Vunik
Size: 269 cards (including 20 basic lands, not including 9 token-esque cards [4 tokens, 4 rules tip, 1 emblem])


Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Sat, 2017-01-28 22:37
marioware2
Moderator
marioware2's picture

Uhoh! (Not a lot to say, but I am certainly intrigued!)

I can't quite read that - Arin'Vahr?

Sat, 2017-01-28 22:54
Vunik
Vunik's picture

It's Akin'vahr - you were pretty close!

Spoilers will start either later today or tomorrow (depending if I'm satisfied with the cards and the story chapter), but most likely tomorrow.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Mon, 2017-01-30 02:27
Vunik
Vunik's picture

An Introduction
Malix felt fear.

He smiled, breathing in deeply. Once, he heard that fear used to be a negative emotion; people had hated the feeling. Now a days, if you didn't feel fear, you were insane. Or too far gone. He shook his head, pushing the thought from his mind. He was beyond the Far Wall, and getting distracted would get him killed.

The streets were eerily silent as he crept through the ruins. Black...stuff crawled up the buildings, acting like pronounced shadows. It gave the illusion that the entire place was in deep shadow, despite it being midday. He shivered, eyeing the shimmering material with suspicion. The scholars said that it was just mold, but they had been wrong before. Like with the Ancestors.

Clack.

Like the bells of the apocalypse, the sound echoed through the street. It was a familiar sound, of metal on cobblestone. He stiffened, locating the sound to his left. Slowly, as to prevent his armor from clinking, he drew his sword, and breathed in.

Green light crawled up the sword's curved blade, casting a strange glow on the black material. Whatever made the sound didn't reveal itself, and Malix walked forwards carefully. The Old City was incredibly dangerous, but as long as he didn't reach the Center, he should be fine.

He took another step forwards, and hesitated. The sound had been too obvious. Any one of the compleated creatures that stalked this district would know he was there. They may not be sentient, but they know better than to alert a preadator - or prey - to their presence.

Shkshkshkshk.

Spinning around, he pulled up his shield as fast as he could. There was a thud, and he pushed back, throwing the assailant backwards. He lowered the shield slightly, taking up a defensive stance.

The strange creature scrambled back onto its five legs, ending in needle-like spikes. Its skin was an inconsistent color, parts of the black skin gleaming, others dull. Strange fanged mandibles indicated where it's head was, and it turned, hissing at Malix. It tensed, and Malix knew it was preparing to jump again.

He didn't give it a chance, snapping his fingers, the sound slightly echoing. As it jumped, he disappeared, it flying through empty air. Almost instantly afterward, he reappeared.

Turning, he swung his sword down towards the strange creature. His aim was true, and the thing's two halves twitched as they fell to the ground, spilling a strange oily substance. Stepping back quickly, he checked his sword.

The charm he had placed on the blade faded, but so did the creature's “blood”, absorbed by the magic and nullified. He sighed, dropping his defenses.

Shkshkshkshkshk.

Instantly, he stiffened again. While the sound was faint, the fact that he could hear it at all was terrifying. The one he had just faced had been nearly inaudible. If he could hear that sound... A swarm was coming.

Sheathing his sword, he turned and began to run back to the Far Wall. Anabel didn't know that he had left the New City, and if she found out, those creatures would be the last thing on his mind. His footsteps echoed throughout the empty homes, most crumbling down to ruins.

Finally, he made it to the Far Wall's Gate. The portcullis shuddered as the guardsmen began to crank it upwards, the sound ringing, not that they were worried about being heard.

Malix looked back out into the city, and frowned. Scarlet smog hung in the sky, the sun no more than a hazy disk. Far in the distance, the Center rose, the ten Obelisks of Damnation circling it. There, Radek sat on a throne of bones, assisted by Oliva, Seri, and Yiln.

The frown turned into a scowl. They were the reason Anabel would yell at him. They were the reason that the people had broken looks. They were the reason their world was a living hell.

And yet, he couldn't help but feel something as a bird flew overhead, as if something was going to change. At that moment, the portcullis stopped moving.

“Lord Gendari,” one of the guards called down. “Pass through quickly! The scouts have reports that several swarms are coming through this district.” He paused for a moment, and Malix was sure he was speaking to a messenger. “Oh, and the Lady Sage Anabel wants to speak with you. Says it's about something important.”

He gave a small nod. She knew he had been outside alright. Walking through the Gate, he couldn't help but look back through, where a single crow feather was falling to the ground. If this world can change, he thought, it's not happening nearly soon enough.


Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Mon, 2017-01-30 03:11
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

"And what of the requirement of a Forge Praetor, for this operation, Our Porcelain One?"

"The tainted lizard has slithered along a backwards path, one not fitting of the Orthodoxy."

"We much think that you have engineered a replacement, for such is your all seeing vision."

"You think correctly, my priests. But to prevent this one from falling astray, it must lack the blessed vision."

"May the servitors guide her to give gratitude for her blessed existence."

"May she be run forth blind, forever in the Orthodoxy's scriptures."

Spoiler:

Somewhere in the Grand Furnace, a roar of protest occurred as Urabrask received the news with a clenched claw. Norn had taken her flawed dogmas to other planes, and all he could do was seethe, as attendants soldered his joints back together for the next power play of survival on New Phyrexia.


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Mon, 2017-01-30 04:48
fluffyDeathbringer
Moderator
fluffyDeathbringer's picture

Seri's second ability should say "whenever a creature an opponent controls attacks", and it's also bonkers. But it's a praetor, so I guess that's par for the course.

Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

Mon, 2017-01-30 05:49
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Will fix her accordingly!

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Mon, 2017-01-30 22:15
isaac the awesome
isaac the awesome's picture

Another plane under phyrexian siege eh.

Tue, 2017-01-31 02:23
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Revelation

Vunik stumbled forwards, his foot not hitting the expected wooden floor, but a slick cobblestone. He pressed his hand against one of the buildings, evicting a sickening squelch from its wall. Unfortunately, he didn't have a chance to notice it. The pain had already hit.

Sharp and unyielding, the pain rose from his gut in an instant, racing up his spine into his head. Although he had never experienced it, it felt like someone had just slammed a greatsword down his middle, splitting him in two. It remained just long enough for a groan to escape his lips, and then it faded, as if it had never existed in the first place.

His breath came in short bursts, and he could feel a trickle of sweat run down his face. The curse, he thought, standing up. The curse is getting worse. I'll...have to tell Bataar that...

Pulling his hand from the wall, he noticed that conveniently, he had placed it right in the middle of the largest patch of mold he'd ever seen. Groaning in disgust, he flicked his hand to the side, trying to get the sickening material off of his skin. And as he did so, something fell out of his trench coat's pocket.

Before it could reach the ground, he grabbed it, confused. It was a single feather, its black darker than any night he had ever seen. As he thought that, a voice appeared, as if accompanying his realization.

How about a place you know?

Vunik stiffened, spinning around quickly, the last words of his conversation with Lady fading to nothing. No one stood behind him, and the voice didn't say anymore. Scowling, he crushed the feather between his fingers, it crumbling into dust from an unconscious spell.

“Damn that Lady,” he said, turning back around to look. “She knows about the curse and did that on purpose.” So much for “familial attachment,” which Lady was all to eager to spout at him. Sometimes, he considered her a bigger mystery than Singularity, and that was saying something.

Buildings lined the street he was standing on, but none of them were standing. At most, a few bits of crumbling walls remained; most were nothing than piles of rubble. Nothing moved, not even the air. Vunik almost felt as if he was being irreverent just by being there, a sensation that fit in a city that seemed to be in mourning.

He took a few steps forwards, his boots clacking against the stones, and occasionally squishing on the patches of mold that made it out far enough into the street. As he walked, he checked the ruins for any signs of life.

There were none. At least, none recent. Some buildings had square pieces of wood or metal hanging from their fronts, indicating what would have been shops or pubs. A layer of dust and grime covered even those. The best he could figure was that the city had been abandoned, left to rot away.

But why, his mind asked. Why would this place be abandoned, and why would Lady send me here? He frowned, the facts not adding up. Lady claimed that she wasn't working with the Project and Singularity, but then again, that's exactly what someone working with them would say. Nothing prevented her from lying to him, and her “help” could just have been her getting him out of the way. He sighed, whatever reason it was, he was here now. Might as well make the best of it.

For the first time since he arrived, he looked up at the sky of the world. Concern filled his eyes. There wasn't any blue in the sky, only a strange crimson smog, thick and imposing. Even the sun had changed, appearing as nothing more than a flat orange disk, barely able to push its way through the covering.

And then he noticed the spires. Eleven of them, reaching high up into the sky, like the roots of a massive tree, only going the wrong way. One of the eleven was bigger then the others, and as best as he could tell, was place directly in the center, the other ten surrounding it. It even looked as if it was the source of the smog.

Dread filled Vunik's gut. It wasn't rational – nothing indicated that this was out of the ordinary for this plane – but something just felt wrong. Wrong enough to put him on edge. He breathed in, and felt his senses sharpen, drawing upon the leylines of the plane. They were weak, weaker than they probably should have been.

Luckily for him, the spell came at a perfect time, as the sounds of claws against cobblestones reached his enhanced ears. He turned, internally pulling up hundreds of spells that could stop someone in their tracks, some nonlethal, some much less so.

A dog stepped onto the street from one of the side alleyways, nose against the ground. It seemed to not have noticed him. Vunik almost let his guard down, until he looked closer at the dog. At first glance it had seemed normal, but under closer scrutiny the falsehood was obvious. Strange metal tendons were revealed in its legs, and the flesh was notably absent of furn, leaving it's blacked flesh to the air. With each step it took, something dripped from it's underside.

“By Inaylise,” he breathed, instinctively cursing by a god's name he no longer worshiped. “That's impossible!” The beast stiffened, as if hearing his words of disbelief. More likely, it had caught his scent. It spun quickly, unnaturally quick, and bolted after Vunik, snarling with the ferality of a rabid dog.

It didn't get far, as a bolt (a mundane one, like one that would be used by a crossbow), caught it's side, slamming it into a wall. The wall collapsed, that last abuse proving too much for it, and the beast lied there, twitching as black blood spill from the wound.

Vunik sighed with relief, not that he was in danger, but because the bolt meant that someone else was alive. Someone that could, if whatever forced controlled luck in the Multiverse was on his side at the moment, prove his suspicions wrong.

A female stepped out from the shadows of an alleyway, hooking a crossbow to her belt. She looked at him, her light gray eyes and pointed ears giving herself away as an elf. A smile came to her face, and Vunik couldn't tell if it was forced or genuine. Very few people smiled when he was around, so he guessed it was the former.

“Lucky I was around,” she said, walking up to him. “That beast would have killed you before you could have taken two steps to run.” She glanced back at the dog, making sure that it was dead. Even it it wasn't, it had been pinned to a sizable chunk of the wall. It wasn't getting up anytime soon. “So then, what's your name? I haven't seen you around the New City.”

Vunik looked between her and the dog. She appeared calm, but her crossbow string was still pulled back, ready for a bolt to be placed in it at any moment. This place was dangerous, and she knew it.

“I'm...” For a brief moment, he considered using an alias, but what was the point? For all he knew, she was the only person left on this fallen world. “I'm Vunik. What's yours?”

The woman smiled again, the action never reaching her eyes. “General Terane, of the New City Army. I'd love to do more thorough introductions, but that will have to wait. That thing's only a scout; more will be coming, and trust me, you don't want be here if Seri or Yiln is there.”

She turned, but Vunik stopped her with a question, hoping that the answer wouldn't be what he expected it to be. “What was that thing.”

Terane stopped, looking over her shoulder. “What, you hit your head on something? I wouldn't think amnesia could remove memories of those monstrosities. That's a Phyrexian. A dog Phyrexian, granted, but a Phyrexian nonetheless. Now come on, we need to get back...I just hope Malix didn't wander too far...”

Vunik fell in step behind her. By whatever was holy, I'm right, he thought, horrified. This world fell to the Phyrexians... Just what have I gotten into now?


Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Tue, 2017-01-31 02:49
fluffyDeathbringer
Moderator
fluffyDeathbringer's picture

- Extraplanar Aid should say "becomes equal to your starting life total" a la Exquisite Archangel, and the tutor should be worded off Planar Bridge (except with battlefield). I do like Extraplanar Aid as a card, though.
- Oilhound should say "gains haste" instead of "has haste".
- Vunik's +2 should probably specify "up to one target creature" because otherwise you won't be able to up him on an empty board, the -7 just flat out doesn't work because it can only be activated as a sorcery, i.e. during your main phases where creatures can't attack or block, and the ult also doesn't work because you can't put instants/sorceries onto the battlefield.

Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

Tue, 2017-01-31 20:23
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Will change Extraplanar Aid and Oilhound accordingly, and take Vunik back to the drawing board. (Completely forgot that abilities are sorcery speed...)

EDIT: New Vunik!

Spoiler:

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Wed, 2017-02-01 20:07
Simonbarsinister
Simonbarsinister's picture

I suggest lowering the cost of Vunik's second ability. It's a good threat, but the opponent will always see it coming and just won't block with a horde of creatures if they can help it. Also, just wondering, what is the untap part of the + ability intended to do? Pre-combat the creatures will already be untapped, so is it just to give another option for how to use the ability?

Wed, 2017-02-01 20:44
Vunik
Vunik's picture

I may reduce the cost of the first minus ability. It was mainly at that cost so that the plus could pass it. The untap clause in the plus is utility, giving you more options with it. That, and it's a small bit of blue in the ability.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Wed, 2017-02-01 21:38
isaac the awesome
isaac the awesome's picture

What if Vunik gave deathtouch and lifelink until the beginning of your next turn to defend Vunik instead

Sun, 2017-02-05 04:54
Vunik
Vunik's picture

@isaac I may end up doing that.

Alright, before I give anymore story, let's introduce our mechanics for day 1 of 2 mechanic days!



Phyrexian Mechanics

Infect

The Phyrexians of Akin'vahr do have a connection to the Phyrexians of New Phyrexia, as one might guess, despite that that connection is over 400 years old. Despite their independent mutations brought on by this extended time apart, one thing remained constant between the two groups.

As you have already seen in previous spoilers, infect makes a return in Akin'vahr, representing the infamous glistening oil of Phyrexia, their primary form of initial compleation.

However, before ye naysayers come in with your bad memories of infect from SoM, let me preface this. I have attempted to balance infect better, exchanging the permanent advancements with below curve creatures. Let's hope this works better.



Animate

However, the Akin'vahr variety of Phyrexians do have other, unique tools at their disposal, one of which is a brand new keyword, somewhat in the vein of Fabricate.

For those who remain on Akin'vahr, artifacts pose deadly threats, as the Phyrexians have animate. Whether representing unholy infusions of life, cleverly created automatons, or subtle possessions, they can bring various artifacts to their aid at a moment's notice.

Animate works like so: When the creature enters the battlefield (or, in higher rarities, when you cast the spell), you choose an artifact you control, and until end of turn, it becomes a creature with the given base power and toughness until end of turn. Use it to bolster your forces in times of need, or make strategic advantages against the Old Guard.

The Old Guard doesn't stand a chance.



Tomorrow, we'll see the mechanics the Old Guard has to fight of the oppressive Phyrexian regime, and maybe allow them to pull off a miracle.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Sat, 2017-02-04 06:59
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

Can animate artifact target artifact creatures as well to adjust power and toughness?


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Sat, 2017-02-04 07:02
Vunik
Vunik's picture

I'm not particularly sure, honestly. I'd assume so, since it doesn't explicitly restrict you from do, but I'm going to leave that judgement to someone with more rules experience than I.

(Until I know better, yes, you can do that.)

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Sat, 2017-02-04 07:19
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

It should, I was more concerned about whether it was intended or not.

Also, uh, are you sure Draining Shambler is below curve? Last I checked 3 CMC for 2/2 was the norm, not counting Kaladesh. Honestly of the 3 infect cards you showed only Phyrexian Servant strikes me as particularly below curve.


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Sat, 2017-02-04 07:37
Vunik
Vunik's picture

I meant that generally they should be below curve. There will be some outliers, partially to make sure that infect if not viable is at least enticing. I admit though, I am worried about Mechanized Behemoth and Draining Shambler, which is one of the reasons I spoiled them during this.

Also, I thought that 3/3 for 3CMC was on curve, but now that you mention it, I rarely see 3/3 for 3... I may shift Draining Shambler down to 2 power (Which makes me happy, as every instance of a number, excluding reminder text, will be a 2).

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Sat, 2017-02-04 08:11
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

3/3 for 3 CMC is oncurve for Green mana symbol, and I think maybe Red mana symbol could get away with 3/2 - Black mana symbol seems more likely to get 2/3 by the game's current standards, but take what I've said with a grain of salt since I don't have any sources onhand.


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Tue, 2017-02-07 21:52
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Day 2!



Old Guard

Vengeance

For those who haven't been compleated, known to themselves as the Old Guard, Akin'vahr is a living hell, with every day holding the guarantee of death. And for some, facing constant death has only instilled a greater fire within their hearts.

Vengeance represents this fire. Each creature on Akin'vhar has a story, a story full of death and suffering, and they pin those on a single creature. When they face that creature, strength surges within them, and can even alter them.

Note that when vengeance triggers, it also makes the creature "vengeful" in addition to getting a P/T bonus. Vengeful functions similarly to being monstrous or renowned in that it doesn't do anything by itself. Cards and effects will reference this state, giving various bonuses.


Reverse Engineer

Vengeance isn't the only thing pushing the Old Guard, however. Their desire to see the world return to its former glory is just as important. And knowledge leads to glory...and victory.

Those who read some of the mechanic spoilers and such from Aether Revolt will remember this mechanic. Reverse engineer is an action word that allows you to temporarily copy an artifact on the battlefield. Now, this can be an opponent's annoying artifact, or an equipment that would be really nice to have two of at the moment.

By taking apart the strange creatures and artifacts the Phyrexians send after them, the Old Guard aims to finding some vital weakness within. And maybe that weakness could be great enough for them to exploit in battle.

Perhaps Old Akin'vahr isn't dead yet.



And that finishes up the mechanic spoilers of Akin'vahr! Next spoiler will push the story forward, and introduce the seeds of mystery...

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Sun, 2017-02-05 08:47
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

Reverse Engineer is interesting, but I'm much less confident in Vengeance since it'll depend heavily on what your opponent is playing in both Limited and Constructed and Phyrexia seems to be spread out among multiple tribes. Why not just make it trigger when it is blocked or blocks?


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Sun, 2017-02-05 16:06
jacqui-pup
Featured Set Editor - Best Set of 2015 - Community Award
jacqui-pup's picture

So let's run through your mechanics:

The Phyrexians get infect, and creature cards that care about being poisoned, because infect decks obviously want to run hasty Hill Giants that lower the life total that's completely irrelevant versus an infect deck. They also get a mechanic that should be an action word, and can turn your 6/6 infect artifact creatures into... 2/2 infect artifact creatures. I don't think you quite thought this mechanic through?

The old guard gets "Bushido but it never triggers" and a mechanic that actually is neat but needs haste and is also insanely powerful.

What's up with the artifact creatures in this set? Why are some Phyrexians artifacts and some not? Normally I wouldn't care but 50% of the mechanics in your set can hit artifacts so you should have really thought that through. Then again, looking at all those Vunik hotfixes, I don't really think most of this set was thought through.

[center]"It's exciting to create something that demonstrates how clever you are, that you pushed in a direction that players didn't anticipate. The problem is that the point of game design isn't to be clever, it's to create a great game." --Mark Rosewater

Sun, 2017-02-05 19:45
Vunik
Vunik's picture

I'm going to ignore the "not thought through" comment, and look at your criticisms, jaqui.

I'll clarify this: Phyrexians get infect, cards that care about an opponent being poisoned, and animate. While I admit it might work better as an action word, I left it as a keyword knowingly. That, and animate is not designed for changing artifact creatures. Its designed around animating artifacts you already have, adding creatures to the board.

I hadn't realized the similarities between bushido and vengeance, and I admit that vengeance is weaker than bushido. That will need some looking at. As for reverse engineer, I specifically didn't make it give haste. I wanted the focus not to be on copying you opponent's most powerful artifact creature, but copying artifacts that you can use (things like utility cards or equipment).

The reasoning behind the artifact creatures is, card-wise, that I want to separate Akin'vahr from Mirrodin with the amount of artifact creatures, and flavor-wise, the Phyrexians on Akin'vahr are different that Mirrodin - without the abundance of biomechanical augmentation that was present of Mirrodin, compleation had to change to fit. The artifact creatures are the few who actually could be compleated normally.

I should also note that the next set in this block changes the number of mechanics that care about artifacts (dropping the number of artifact-related mechanics down to only a third of the block as a whole), which is one of the reasons I haven't made this an overbearingly artifact set.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Sun, 2017-02-05 20:45
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

It would probably help the whole set's case if you spoiled a few cheap noncreature artifacts that could be used by either side in Limited. As is I think we're all seeing a lot of combo pieces that are missing the critical piece of the combo, especially since Reverse Engineer can't haste things so it's useless on artifact creatures.

Also, while I understand you wanted to make this a "Phyrexia invading a less-artifact plane set" your design choices need to shift to reflect that IMHO. As things stand right now, you having Artifact Creatures takes away from both the flavor of "Phyrexia invading a less-artifact plane set" and weakens the mecahnical focus of "Noncreature artifacts matter" because players are going to look at the artifact creatures and go "Hey why wasn't the set designed to promote copying/buffing those instead?"

EDIT: Yoshi's post also makes me realize that Animate Artifact + Reverse Engineer would be pretty neat if they were both designed to work with Old Guard and not split between Phyrexia + Old Guard. You should look into that.


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Sun, 2017-02-05 22:50
Yoshi
Community Award
Yoshi's picture

Imma go through this:

thoughts
Compleation delivers a very appropriate and creepy feel. I might like it more at 3 mana symbolBlack mana symbol cause it comes out really early as-is for what it does, espcially in an infect deck.

If you're trying to emphasize weaker Phyrexian creatures without making them trash, I'd consider making Phyrexian Servant a 1/2, as 1/1 is just a strict downgrade of Glistener Elf, which feels pretty bad.

Malix is lowkey a shitty Melira but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, cause Melira was really strong.

Seri is much too strong, even for a Praetor. It makes it both punishing to your opponent to attack (you damage yourself) and to stay back (your stuff gets gunned down). Maybe if for the ping-effect you payed 2 mana symbol to trigger it and for the self-damage effect it triggered unless your opponent paid 2 mana symbol?

Extraplanar Aid feels pretty strong. If one considers the value of setting your life total to twenty (I'd value it at around 3 mana symbolWhite mana symbolWhite mana symbol? Idk) and then considers that the planeswalker is being slapped on for free, I think that's too much, especially since you can get something like Bolas or Ugin into play for free with it. Tutoring to hand would make it a lot less diddly/breakable.

Oilhound should -probably- have infect.

Vunik is eh. Not really a fan of it, but nothing really wrong with it either.

Now, onto your new mechanics:

Vengeance should be axed IMO for the same reason protection was axed. It depends too much on what/how your opponent plays and 9/10 times the vengeance ability is going to be arbitrary text, which is the last thing that should be happening on a central mechanic, especially if your card is vengeance n --- creature type + vengeful trigger, like your rare. That's pretty much a vanilla creature if you aren't going against a Phyrexian or Horror.

Reverse Engineer is cute.

Animate artifact is a clunky-ish name and maybe I'd name it Automate? But I'd have to say that I don't think this is the right set for something like that; it plays badly with infect, especially as a Phyrexian mechanic. Which is a problem, since while you could have AA give stuff infect that would make the phyrexians a lot more parasitic than they already are. Or alternatively, put AA on the resistance's side.

Overall yeah, there are some pretty big glaring flaws. The individual ideas have merit and it's a cool setting, but I'm not a fan of how you've put them together personally.

Working on an alt-color pie at the moment. Check me out in forum games!
If you need help with a community project, just message me and I'll be glad to help.

I stand with the specimen.

Mon, 2017-02-06 22:29
Daij_Djan
Moderator Best Set of 2016
Daij_Djan's picture

Nice to see someone giving Reverse Engineer a try Winking smiley

That aside, I pretty much agree with ZephyrPhantom's comments here.

As Photobucket wants me to pay 400$/year to link to my images, I'll relocate all renders.

Tue, 2017-02-07 22:16
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Meant to get back to you all sooner, but been working on the set according to your feedback. In order:

@Zephyr I will get to spoiling those ASAP, after I've edited the set. Now that you mention it, I really was working against myself with some of my spoilers (and with the artifact creatures). I'm currently going through the set and (attempting to) get rid of those discrepancies. As for Animate + Reverse Engineer, there's nothing in the set stopping you from playing both (except flavor). If I do change that, I'll let you all know.

@Yoshi
- I may increase Compleation's cost, but probably to 2 mana symbolBlack mana symbolBlack mana symbol (I like the double black in the cost).
- Will adjust Phyrexian Servant
- RE: Malix: Good, I was going for a more powered-down version of Melira.
- I'm not so sure about Seri. At most, I'd increase her cost and reduce P/T, but I'll leave her for now.
- Considering that the only other card that tutors for a planeswalker does put it into your hand, I may change that.
- Oilhound has actually been removed, so a bit of a moot point.
- Vengeance is already in the process of being reworked.
- It's not "animate artifact", it's "animate". Technically, the ability is written out as Animate <cardtype> - N. In Akinvahr, it exclusively targets artifacts, but in the next set, Histories Unknown, it will be expanded to include other card types. Also, while I see that it doesn't play well with infect, it's designed into the "noncreature artifacts matter" theme, not the aggro theme, like infect and vengeance are.

@Daij Thanks! One I saw it during Aether Revolt spoilers, I knew I had to use it somewhere. And conveniently enough, I've had this set in the works for a bit now, and I feel it fits really well.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Wed, 2017-02-08 04:19
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

It's good to see you actively reworking your set even as it's being spoiled and not being put down by our criticism, ftr. I really appreciate it.


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Wed, 2017-02-08 05:06
Vunik
Vunik's picture

It's nothing really. If you never mess up, you can't get better, and if you're never told you've messed up, you'll certainly won't get better, right?

Really, I should be thanking you guys. I've had unfortunate experiences in other forums and projects with not getting any form of critique, and it sucks.

Oh, and as a little side note, this is currently what Vengeance has been changed to:

New Vengeance

I should have some of the missing pieces (i.e. noncreature artifacts) spoiled soon.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Wed, 2017-02-08 05:13
ZephyrPhantom
Moderator
ZephyrPhantom's picture

Seems to be designed to ward off Infect players from just blocking and -1/-1 countering away. Good choice for what seems to be shaping up to be an aggressive format. I'd suggest if Sage of the Lost Ones is still a Rare in this case perhaps consider letting it deal additional damage if not blocked (be it to creatures, players, or something else like double strike).


Spoiling monthly, attempting to conclude by Dec 2017
Looking for fun? Try Battle Boards!

Wed, 2017-02-08 05:37
Vunik
Vunik's picture

I'll consider that, Zephyr. Might be good, since RG does have the classic "beater" archetype in this set.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Tue, 2017-02-14 04:54
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Hey you! Yeah, you! Want some artifacts? I got some good artifacts here!

Phyrexian Artifacts


Old Guard Artifacts




And with that side track finished, we'll be getting back to the story shortly! Vunik has come to "New City" of this Phyrexian-overrun plane, and surprises still await him!

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Tue, 2017-02-14 18:18
ThisisSakon
ThisisSakon's picture

Book of Corruption should say "Draw a card, then discard a card unless a player is poisoned."

Also it should probably be uncommon

Tue, 2017-02-14 20:54
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Will correct wording.

Re:rarity shift - I may do that, Sakon, but I'd prefer to keep it at common. Maybe increase the activation cost to 1 mana symbolBlue mana symbol or Blue mana symbolBlue mana symbol (or even 2 mana symbolBlue mana symbol)?

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Wed, 2017-03-08 01:05
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Alliances wrote:
"I don't trust you. I hope you realize that." Anabel didn't look at Vunik, who stood in the room, wishing that the Lady of Crows had sent him anywhere else.

"Honestly, I don't expect you to trust me," Vunik replied, grabbing one of the rickety chairs and sitting in it. "But I assume, since that you haven't tried to kill me yet, you have a bigger problem?"

Anabel simply nodded, staring out the room's window into the fortified complex Terane had led Vunik into. The southern corner was dominated by a structure that appeared to be buildings built on top of each other, horribly unstable.

"You know what these things are then." It was a statement, not a question.

This time, Vunik nodded. "Of course; I've visited New Phyrexia once before. Although, how they got here is a mystery to me. Last time I checked, they hadn't figured out the secret to cracking the planar portals."

She tapped her fingers against the windowsill, the sounds forming an distinct yet unfamiliar rhythm, apparently thinking on what he had said. Just how long have you been here, he thought, noticing a few scars on her arms that hadn't been there the last time they met. And why are you still here?

Standing, Vunik walked over to the woman, staring out the same window. Below them, people from a half a dozen races bustled around, carrying swords, bandages, and various other implements of a people at war. It wasn't a hopeful sight. Most of them were slouched, the weight of their inevitable fate pressing them down. Only a single plane had ever survived the onslaught of the Phyrexians, and even then it was almost destroyed in the millennia afterwards.

"I'm not sure how they got here either," Anabel finally said. "When I arrived here, the people had been fighting for almost a century, and even then, any evidence of a functioning civilization had been destroyed. Only the ruins of this city remained." She sighed, showing the same posture that Vunik had noticed in the people below. Everyone here was on the verge of breaking.

"The portal still stood when I came," she continued. "Phyrexians flooded out of it, overrunning everything within fifty miles of it. I closed it, and with the power left in it, sealed this plane away. The Pyrexians were cut off, but it was too late. Already, Elesh Norn had sent two preators to this world, and their grasp was tight. Only one in ten people survived that onslaught, and that's of whatever population remained on this place.

"Whatever culture this plane had is gone, lost within the overrun city and its Phyrexian rulers. We've been fighting them for almost three hundred years, and we just barely managed to take back New City. Turns out the Phyrexians didn't need access off the plane, but we did."

Vunik smiled, the action tainted with knowing. He knew what it felt like to make the wrong decision, despite everything that said it was right. It wasn't a good feeling. "Well, I'm here," he replied, gently placing a hand on Anabel's shoulder. "Probably not the backup you were hoping for, but better than nothing, right?"

She shook his hand off, turning on him. "Why are you here, Vunik? And how? If you broke my seal, I need to know; it has to be restored as soon as possible, or else this world is doomed."

"I...don't know," he replied, raising hands in defense. "Someone sent me here. I really didn't have much choice in the matter. Besides, if I had, I would have avoided this place as though...well, as though it was infested with Phyrexians." Not to mention that something's wrong with your story, he added in his thoughts. There's no way you'd been here for three hundred years. I fought you on Tahnkosha only two decades ago!

Somehow, Anabel managed a smile at that; a rare sight even before she had come to the plane. "Well, that's one good thing to come out of this. I've been so worried that something would go wrong." She sighed yet again, looking out the window. "Listen, it sickens me to say this, but I need your help. There's only so much these people can do, and the Phyrexians are growing bold. It won't be long before they siege New City, tearing it and everyone inside of it to pieces. I...We need another -"

Vunik held up a hand, cutting her off. "I don't help old enemies," he said. "Too much danger of getting stabbed in the back, you know?" Instantly, Anabel's face fell, the conflicting emotions of disappointment and anger mixing. He kept his hand up, preventing her outburst, and continued. "However, there's little chance of backstabbing in a situation like this. You really are desperate for anything. I'll help."

She looked him in the eyes, trying to find any evidence of a developing betrayal or trick. He knew that she wouldn't find any; this was one of the few times in his life he decided to be completely serious. The time for wisecracks would come eventually, but definitely not right now.

"In that case," Anabel replied, quickly regaining her composure, "we'll have to get started now. Scouts have reported seeing more and more low-class Phyrexians approaching New City lately..."


Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Wed, 2017-03-08 01:21
thehuw
thehuw's picture

Hate Runner seems rather strong, and Anabel's -X Loyalty is so laughably specific that it may as well not be there. Menace is also a serious bend for green on her ult, and the first ability is either laden with memory issues (since "the next creature spell you cast" could be virtually anytime) or, if it only lasts for that turn, the flash clause is completely useless 95% of the time.

If you're sold on the first ability granting flash, you probably want "until your next turn, the next creature card you cast can be cast as though it had flash" (wording cribbed from Quicken and Savage Summoning). The second needs reworking completely, because as-is it's parasitic as all hell.

Red mana symbolWhite mana symbolBlack mana symbol
Set Huwb
They/them pronouns, please.
Praise Vectron.

Wed, 2017-03-08 01:54
marioware2
Moderator
marioware2's picture

Might I suggest a static -2 that says "Until your next turn, creatures can't have counters placed on them"? You could make it wordier and let you choose whether or not the counter gets placed as well. A lot less parasitic and still does the thing you're trying to do.

Wed, 2017-03-08 02:32
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Anabel's -X Loyalty was the thing I was worried most about, so I'll take mario's suggestion on that one. Her +1 was supposed to mimic Savage Summoning, but figures that I'd get the wording wrong on that one. Both changes will be made.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Mon, 2017-03-27 03:34
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Machinations wrote:
"It would seem the rebels have a new recruit, my Lord."

"So it does. I thought you had stamped out all those freelancers, Arbiter."

"I did as well, my Lord. Although, we're not sure if he's from a pocket of freelancers. There are interesting rumors concerning his origin..."

"Oh?"

"He's one of them, my Lord. One who can walk between the realities."

"Does this mean that the pesky seal has been lifted?"

"Unfortunately, no. It would appear that this newcomer some how bypassed the seal, without breaking it, my Lord. The obelisks still are not functioning."

"Erg . . . Well, so be it. This world remains our prison still."

"My Lord, you look troubled."

". . . Tell me Arbiter, how long have the incompleat plagued our world?"

"Uh, almost four hundred, my Lord. It is a shameful failure on my part that they have survived this long."

"Your humility is appreciated, General, but that was not the intention of my question. The incompleat and their 'New City' have been a thorn in our side for too long. Gather the forces, General."

". . . My Lord?"

"The Mother of Phyrexia herself gave me this holiest of holy missions. I have followed her words to the letter since I was first compleated, back on our Home. What would she say to me, knowing that this world still carried the impurities of flesh? It is a confrontation I do not wish to endure.

"I'm afraid I don't quite understand, my Lord."

"Then let me elaborate, loyal general. You are to march on New City, and destroy them all. Bring the ones who can cross the worlds to me, and slaughter those who won't be compleated. It is time to end this."

"Yes, my lord."





And here's another chapter in the story! It's a short one, so I'd thought I'd spoil (half) a cycle as well: the Obelisk cycle!
The Obelisks



(Yes, I'm aware of the problem with Obelisk of Fate - I just noticed it. It is currently being updated.)

Only three more Spotlights to go, and the story's going to pick up from here!

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Mon, 2017-03-27 08:12
fluffyDeathbringer
Moderator
fluffyDeathbringer's picture

Some critiques:

- You misspelled Praetor in Hol'Vey's typeline.
- Purge the Incompleat looks jarring with the italics in the card name, tbh.
- Obelisk of Obsession (which you also misspelled) refers a target-based X before referencing the target, which just looks ugly to me despite not necessarily being technically incorrect. I'd make this a reverse wording: Target player discards X cards and you draw X cards, where X is the number of poison counters that player has.

Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

Mon, 2017-03-27 19:39
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Well, I've learned one thing: I suck at spelling. I agree that having incompleat italicized isn't particularly good looking, and I'll reverse Obsession's wording.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Mon, 2017-03-27 19:53
Simonbarsinister
Simonbarsinister's picture

I would suggest leaving out the "if a player has a poison counter" clause on obsession because it does nothing if you activate it when no one has poison.

Mon, 2017-03-27 20:31
jacqui-pup
Featured Set Editor - Best Set of 2015 - Community Award
jacqui-pup's picture

Oooooookay. What are you even doing with this set? You have five cards that care about whether a player is poisoned that don't generate poison counters-- including a mythic praetor. There are only four canon cards in Magic that use "poisoned" as a term, three of which have infect. And it's not even a complete cycle, because the Green/blue mana symbol one is Vorel but it can target players because doubling the number of poison counters on your opponents out of nowhere is fun.

Every single spoiler in this set has shown a complete lack of thought for how a set plays. Someone points out the bevy of poor design choices and typos and you make hotfixes but never address the real problem, which isn't that your sets lack any cohesion-- and they really really lack cohesion-- but that you never stop to read the cards you make before you post them. Not everyone is an expert when it comes to power level but you don't need to be an expert at Magic to catch most of the stuff I'm writing, you just need to read the cards you make before you post them.

I'd give you a concrete example using cards the spoiler above, redesigning the seven cards above to correct, for instance, the redundancy of both of your White mana symbolBlue mana symbol rares tapping your opponent's board if they're poisoned. But I'm not going to do that, because I know you'll just copy the redesigned obelisks into your set file and ignore my actual criticism, which is that you need to read the cards you make before you post them.

[center]"It's exciting to create something that demonstrates how clever you are, that you pushed in a direction that players didn't anticipate. The problem is that the point of game design isn't to be clever, it's to create a great game." --Mark Rosewater

Mon, 2017-03-27 21:36
Vunik
Vunik's picture

You must really think I'm an idiot, don't you? How about I just give you the set file, that way I can prove to you that I know what I'm doing with this set. I know that there are 4 cards that use poisoned as a term - its design space I wanted to explore. I know that the Green/blue mana symbol one was powerful, it's why I posted it.

Yet you seem to think that each card I've made had no thought put into it - that I didn't even read my own cards? I find that insulting, and I'm sorry my quality control isn't as high as you'd like it to be. For your information, I do read my cards. The hotfixes come from the fact that there are 269 cards in this set, and I have looked over each one dozens of times, sometimes more. Naturally, I will have missed something, or thought that something was correct, and never gotten back around to check it. Hell, there are even cards that I note that I need to post, because I can't figure out if my wording is correct.

Just to emphasize this: that is why I post cards that have mistakes - I personally didn't catch them, or I didn't know quite how to correct them. I could only post my french vanilla and simple cards, but I wouldn't be able to catch my other mistakes, and this set would come off incredibly boring. If you want that, I'd be happy to oblige, but I'd never know that this one card has a problem with it. It seems like you're assuming what I can do based solely on the mistakes I've made, which is ridiculous.

As for having no cohesion, I've revealed, what, 30 some cards, each chosen based on flavor and not mechanical identity with the other cards spoiled. Are you saying that you can judge whether or not a set has cohesion based on 3/20 of the total cards, 3/20 based on flavor? How about, instead of accusing me with a condescending tone, you ask for proof, or even ask what my goal is with these spoilers! I'd gladly give more cards in support of my themes.

I am more than happy to take constructive criticism on my cards and my sets, but assuming that I don't read my cards or don't plan out my sets doesn't fall within that category. That's verging on the edge of ad hominem, and doesn't serve any function other than to try and cut this project at its knees. I'm sorry for this long post, but I have seen far worse sets and/or cards in these threads, and I haven't seen such presumptuous accusations brought up against them.

Once again, I do read my cards, and any, any, mistakes have slipped by me. This is why I am posting my cards - if they were perfect, I would just post the set file. If this is annoying to you, I'm sorry, but this is how my process works.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Mon, 2017-03-27 21:40
thehuw
thehuw's picture

Minor aside, I don't think the problem with "poisoned" is that it's an unintuitive term or bad Magic-ese, but it's a little strange to see it on cards that can't poison your opponents on their own - it's like seeing an energy sink without a way to generate energy.

Red mana symbolWhite mana symbolBlack mana symbol
Set Huwb
They/them pronouns, please.
Praise Vectron.

Mon, 2017-03-27 21:47
Yoshi
Community Award
Yoshi's picture

@Vunik: I'd suggest making the Obelisks have say, a weaker effect while your opponent isn't poisoned. For example:

Obelisk of Fanaticism White mana symbolBlue mana symbol
Artifact Rare
Tap symbol: Tap target creature.
2 mana symbolWhite mana symbolBlue mana symbol, Tap symbol: Tap all creatures target player controls. They don't untap during their controller's next untap step. Activate this ability only if that player is poisoned.

Seriously though, the power levels on some of these is out of whack, despite the poison condition. Fanaticism pretty much screams "you win" if your opponent has a single poison counter. Obsession stops your opponent from drawing cards because you can activate it at instant speed. Struggles is actually balanced but is incredibly narrow for what it does, given you'll almost never want to ping your opponent's face with it cause y'know, you're probably playing an infect deck? Increase is probably just fine, though possibly too good? Idk.

Working on an alt-color pie at the moment. Check me out in forum games!
If you need help with a community project, just message me and I'll be glad to help.

I stand with the specimen.

Mon, 2017-03-27 21:54
marioware2
Moderator
marioware2's picture

Following up on Yoshi's idea, how about something like this?

Obelisk of Fanaticism White mana symbolBlue mana symbol
Artifact Rare
1 mana symbolWhite mana symbolBlue mana symbol, Tap symbol: Tap all creatures target player controls. Those creatures don't untap during their controller's next untap step as long as that player is poisoned.

This way you get to cut down on text while making the cards a lot less 0-to-100 (though this one is very likely too powerful either way). I'd also do a double-check to make sure your cards aren't too functionally similar - like jacqui said, you shouldn't have multiple White/blue mana symbol rares that tap down the board.

Also, mod powers incoming: Be respectful, guys. Nothing so far has been overtly disrespectful, but we're getting close. Let's stay on the right side of the line.

Mon, 2017-03-27 22:01
Vunik
Vunik's picture

I've thought about that, but I've specifically balanced the artifacts around them needing something else to turn on (Hol'vey had a different design process), and not to mention it's hard to find a way to make an artifact have an ability to give poison counters without that ability surpassing the other functions of the artifact. If I can find a way to do it in Histories Unknown, the rest of the cycle will have it. Not a perfect fix, but it will work.

Also, a majority of the effects with a poisoned clause are instant/sorcery/triggered, mainly as additions or increases. The artifacts are an exception to this, as I've said above, they were balanced around not turning on without creatures.

Edit: I'm not sure why I didn't use that type of idea, Yoshi - designer Vunik must have had some reason behind it, but probably not a good one. I was worried about power level, although I didn't realize the problem with Obsession. All of them will be reworked.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Fri, 2017-03-31 01:12
Vunik
Vunik's picture

Alright, I've got the new Obelisks ready!

Trying Again



Known Worries/Issues:
- Fanaticism's non-poison ability being too strong at 3 mana.
- Obsession's non-poison ability being too weak at 5 mana.
- Increase's poison ability being too powerful at 3 mana.

Vunik's Neverending Hub

TWOK is the best!

Sat, 2017-04-01 15:29
grishnax
grishnax's picture

Fanatacism is probably fine. Spear of Heliod exists, after all. If you want to make it a bit weaker, you can make it only target attacking creatures.
Obsession's non-poison ability is actually really strong. Being able to draw two and make your opponent discard two is very powerful, and being able to do it every turn is VERY strong. I'd recommend going back to the drawing board for this one. A possible option is making the non-poison ability make you draw one and they discard one and the poison ability is draw two/they discard two.
Similarly, Fate being able to reanimate a creature every turn (at instant speed, too!) is really good, and has a very powerful potential upside. A fairly easy fix would be to only let it reanimate creatures that died that turn.
I really like Struggles. My one recommendation is to make the non-poison ability give first strike as well. Yes, it's a bit stronger, but at rare, I think that's fine.
The poison ability on Increase seems kind of weird. Maybe make it double counters on X target permanents, where X is the number of poison counters on target player?